Three New Online Services That Will Increase Productivity in the Workplace

It's "training" cats and dogs!

How can we increase productivity in the workplace amidst all the changes of the 21st century? Consider my options that are very similar to training our pets.

Please don’t misunderstand that we should treat employees as pets; we don't have the budget for every worker to get weekly spa treatments as well as brushing, grooming services, and a daily walk! I'm all for a progressive workplace but let's be realistic!

Anyway, these solutions are online and as much as I love Sir Barks-a-Lot, he's terrible on a keyboard!

What's my solution?

Many companies acquire the latest hardware and software but are still grappling with the following scenarios:

•            How can I keep my employees motivated?

•            How do keep them from taking breaks all day long?

•            What can keep them awake & charged up while demanding longer hours?

After thorough research, we've found online solutions to help the modern business to survive, as well as thrive, despite these challenges. And you'll find they are very similar to pet training tricks.

Who's a Good Boy?

Do your employees feel appreciated? It's been said that the average worker would accept a sincere compliment over a raise. Well, nothing gets my puppy as excited as when I ask that repetitive question, "Who's a good boy?"

Enter the online tool, "Darth Moto Vader". This program monitors eye activity and keystrokes to determine lagging interest and activity. Whenever established requirements aren't met, a deep voice comes through the computer speakers encouraging them to pick up the pace and feel the power of accomplishment!

Who's a good boy now?

Come, Sit, Stay

There's nothing worse than walking through the office and seeing everyone away from their desks engaged in daily gossip rather than working. Taking breaks is fine, but we all know some have a hard time finding their way back. Well, how do you keep Fido in the yard without building an unsightly fence?

Check out the "Online Office Shock Collar." This fancy carabiner clip comes with a computer chip-enabled to send a 50volt shock to the wearer. It won't take long to train those workers it's time to scurry back to their desks before the online alarm goes off again!

A Nip of Coffee

Do you have an incentive program? Well, what rewards or treats do we have for our pets? Researchers suspect that catnip targets feline "happy" receptors in the brain.

Most cats react by rolling, flipping, rubbing, and eventually zoning out. That kind of sounds like the effects of coffee to me! Thankfully, there is the new Online Coffee App. Technology has advanced to the point that caffeine can now be transmitted through the eyeballs.

Looking at the computer screen for 20 minutes dispenses the same effect as one 6oz cup of coffee, making it unnecessary for the worker to ever leave their station! This will keep your office purring along all day.

In Summary

So, what have we learned?

Having a happy, productive workplace is no harder than training your favorite pet. Employees need motivation, reminders to get back to work, as well as regular rewards. The internet once again comes to the rescue.

Technology meets pet care, and they go to work!