Customer Letter to 2020

Good afternoon, Mister 2020

Near the end of each year, we like to reach out to all our customers and express appreciation. We use this opportunity to thank you for your patronage. Over the course of the year, we get to know our customers well.

This letter is to compliment you on your achievements and discuss any challenges you face. We see this as an opportunity to deepen our working relationship and move forward in a way that benefits both of us.

We met you as you were leaving your 2019 phase. Transitions are always a little shaky, so we welcomed you with open arms. You had so much to offer despite some of the global problems you were facing.

Being such a large organization with over 7.7 billion people, population was an issue. But you demonstrated potential, operating with a burden and responsibility-sharing promise. Climate and environmental changes needed discussion and you made declarations to that effect. Countries seemed committed to solving these problems.

Below were some of your aspirations:

• Safeguarding fundamental human rights

• Providing lifesaving support

• Building better futures

• Handling emergencies

• Core relief provided by numerous stockpiles

• Cash assistance of millions of dollars

• Resettlements, education, and focus on the use of clean energy

All of this was so promising. We were looking forward to a healthy working relationship with you for the coming year. But we started to notice some changes...

Mr 2020, our first concern was the whispers we heard about the small town of Wuhan China. There was some respiratory disease coming out of there. We try not to get involved in customer affairs unless they ask but you know how people talk.

This became quite a scandal and by mid-March, much of the world was in lockdown. And that was only the beginning. Below is a list of other complaints.

• That terrible 8-minute 46-second ordeal with George Floyd

• The widespread looting that occurred after the related, infamous "I can't breathe" video went viral

• 9,279 wildfires destroying 4.3 million acres and killing 33 people

• A hurricane season that spawned 30 tropical storms challenging forecasters name choices

• An American election unlike any seen before that still seems to have unclear results

• Covid crisis mismanagement so bad that today's numbers show 80,293,007 active cases with 1,759,455 fatalities

• The list goes on...

You're not acting like a particularly good customer.

All of this has led us to reach an exceedingly difficult decision, Mister 2020. And we do not make this decision lightly. We value each and every customer and dedicate our time, energy, and resources to helping them achieve their goals.

However, your past record has been abysmal. We are shocked and appalled. It is not personal but certain standards must be met to maintain our high rating.

Therefore, it is with a heavy heart that we put you on notice that you are no longer welcome as a customer.

We wish you the best in your future endeavors. We will focus our attention on your successor.

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Chris is a Safety Copywriter living outside of Chicago in the suburb of Woodridge, IL. While there's nothing funny about safety, he uses humor to teach important points. His training is always fun and engaging, even when dealing with matters of life or death. He also writes for small to mid-sized companies helping them stay current with content creation. To find out how he can help your business, learn more at Culpepper Communications, LLC.